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10 Things You Need to Talk About Before You Get Married



1. Children

Every couple should sit and think a lot about this before ever thinking about marriage. Hearts and minds should be open because there is no room here for lies and deception. Also, the estimate date of the first born should be planned. The partners should establish how far they are willing to go if the desire to have babies meets some unexpected problems. I’m taking about fertility treatment and even adoption.

2. A place to live

Again, a solution is mandatory before the marriage begins. A couple has higher chances to have a successful marriage if it has a place of its own, without someone else close by and without fearing the next month’s rent. A new home to begin with is ideal, but a solid plan to acquire one in the following years could also work. Staying with the parents is another solution, but mutual consent is mandatory.

3. Debt

                Debt is something more and more present in our modern life. Either generated by higher-education costs or by real-estate acquisitions, it’s definitely a stone tied to the legs. As two people enter a marriage, they form a team and become responsible for paying each other’s debt.

4. Religion

Religion could cover all ranks from being completely ignored to starting low scale family wars. Gladly we live in a world becoming more and more secularized, so the main reason for fights will probably be the way you hold traditions. Don’t surprise your spouse with secret prayers oriented towards Mecca and state your confession even from the time you are dating. For intelligent and educated individuals such a difference is not a reason for rejection. Although religions may differ substantially, they all put in center the same search for higher good and marriage is a step in that direction.

5. Education and career

                For those starting a marriage before ending formal education or before settling for a career, it is wise to sit down for a long talk. Each part should explain where it targets in the near future. Some compromise would be involved and certainly a lot of patience. But marriage is ultimately about support and there are few reasons to discourage your partner from pursuing its dreams.

6. Strange and possible dangerous hobbies

Whether you are climbing the mountains or enjoying one wheel rides on your motorcycle, you have two sound options to make that are compatible with your future marriage. Quit your hobby (nobody will probably take this) or sign yourself for life insurance. Nobody is eager to mourn after a lost husband or wife, at least not until before a considerable age.

7. Sex

Although it probably sounds funny, you should think about your future sex life inside the marriage. We all know how the flame gradually turns itself down and how negatively this impacts the quality of your relationship. Set clear boundaries on how open the relationship might get and how far will are you willing to go.

                8. Family obligations

                Although you will be living together, forming a family on its own, your previous “tribes” won’t give in without a fight and many attempts to repatriate will occur. It’s best to set the perimeter of your future family obligations like where you spend Christmas and how often you’ll visit the family that lives on the other side of the country.

9. Medical conditions

You should make no secret from your medical condition, especially if it threatens the future of your marriage. Even the bad cards are better to be shown at the begging of the game. You will receive compassion and full support from a partner that truly deserves to be your half.

10. Your biggest dream

Don’t be shy on this one. Your lover will probably consider it to be something serious if it’s able to stir your mind so much. Sharing a dream makes the other person involved in your quest and might actually help a lot. Reaching for the impossible requires all the support in the world. Start by asking it before you ask for a “yes”. Like stated before, if your life’s dream is dangerous towards your life and good health, make sure your partner accepts the risk.

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