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A Singles Letter to Ebony Magazine

Article by Quiniece Sheppard

Dear Ebony,

I read an article in the June 2013 issue titled, Seven Deadly Relationship Sins, in the Love and Sex section of your magazine.  I was excited to read the article because I have a book with a similar topic and for a split second, I thought it was an article about my book.  Ha, ha, well, a girl can dream can’t she?   My book is titled The Seven Deadly Sexual Sins, published in June 2009.  I’m not sure if you are aware, but there was a movie on Lifetime some time ago called The Seven Deadly Sins; I was excited about the title and of course, I had to watch that movie.   Ever since my book has been published, I’ve seen quite a few things relating to it; either this book is destined to be read by many or I am experiencing Déjà Vu. 

I published this book in 2009 and it hasn’t been easy talking about sex as sin because in this current society, sex is unsuppressed in most mediFront Covera   and has become America’s favorite “naughty” past time.  I want to briefly mention the seven deadly sexual sins that I address in this book and I’m hoping you will reprint it either in your Love and Sex section or the Spirituality section of your magazine.  Regardless if people agree or disagree, readers find it difficult to resist a response on such a “scandalous” topic as SEX.   So, here are the seven deadly sexual sins.

1.       Fornication-(Pre-Marital Sex –Battle of the Flesh).  More and more people are having pre-marital sex because it makes them feel good, and they go from one sexual partner to another to get a different type of sexual experience that will make them feel better than the last. They keep going and going and going until it becomes a pattern, and then a habit. All sexual sins act as a drug in that they can become emotionally and physically addictive.  That’s why the bible forbids pre-marital sex because of its addictive nature.  Most people just don’t just have one sexual partner – that’s not exciting!  So they go from one sexual partner to another to get the euphoria of having sex with someone else whom they have never experienced.  This is the summation of fornication.   The innate nature of man seeks and thrives on that thing that causes the most excitement or thrill to or within the flesh.   Regardless of the dangers of gonorrhea, herpes, HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases, people continue to ignore health warnings in order to indulge in the “undiscovered pleasures” surrounding sex.   The suspense and excitement of sex with multiple partners (one after another) is substantiated through radio, magazines, clothing, television and social media.  All around us, our society advocates having sex often and with various partners.  Hollywood has created this warped “notion” of sex and now it has become the accepted norm within our society.   God created sex within the sanctity of marriage to be enjoyed by one man and one woman within a covenant relationship.  Its primary purpose is procreation.  And God created pleasure during the procreation so that man and his wife would procreate much.  Our society has taken the applicable reason for sex away and focused just on the pleasure; in so much as,  people ascribe to sex without the sanctity of marriage and defile their bodies  through  abuse (varied partners)  and misuse of sex ( cure all for boredom, depression,  manipulations, etc. ) .  If we continue in this manner, more and more health related consequences (negative) will follow.

2.       Pornography-(Sins of Imagination, daydreams and fantasies).  Most types of pornography are exhibited through television/video, magazines, books, and online via cybersex.  Webster’s dictionary defines pornography as sexually explicit pictures, writings, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal or excitement.   The Lord warns us time and again about lust: 

Numbers 15:39 (NCV) 39 you will have these tassels to look at to remind you of all the Lord’s commands. Then you will obey them and not be disloyal by following what your bodies and eyes want.

Jeremiah 13; 26 – 27 (NIV)

I will pull up your skirts over your face
    that your shame may be seen—
27 your adulteries and lustful neighings,
    your shameless prostitution!
I have seen your detestable acts
    on the hills and in the fields.
Woe to you, Jerusalem!
    How long will you be unclean?”

The bible says in Matthew 15:17-20 that “do not ye understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the drought? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.  For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.   

It’s impossible not to be affected by the ingestion of images, words, actions and or explicit songs, our bodies are exposed to on a sometimes day to day basis.    What we allow to enter in through the mouth gate, eye gate and the ear gate often does more harm than good.  As the scriptures state, these things defile us, meaning – make us dirty and unclean.  We have to be mindful of what we put into our minds.  Our thoughts control our actions. 

 

3.       Lust-(A spirit that covets our mind).  It’s the battle within the mind to fulfill unhealthy cravings, and actions albeit sexual desires and wants. Lusting creates an illusion, fantasy or daydream of something we desire and want so badly that the intensity of it demands some type of response.  Lusting consumes the mind and alters our behavior patterns.  Lusting after someone will make one do things that one would not ordinarily do.  The ramifications of lust left unfettered can be found in the bible surrounding a man by the name of David.  David was a Godly man, yet he lusted and desired after a married woman named Bathsheba.   David saw a naked Bathsheba bathing on the rooftop of her home.  Looking upon her nakedness gave David a deep yearning for Bathsheba.  Within minutes, David had made a conscious decision that he was going to have her no matter what it took.  David plotted and killed Bathsheba’s husband.  And then he began a torrid affair with Bathsheba.  The affair seemed to fulfill David’s lust but as with all sin, there were consequences before God. 

2 Samuel 11: 11

11 “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’

  David lost his firstborn son as judgment for his uninhibited sexual lusts.   (2 Samuel 11:14)

 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for[c] the Lord, the son born to you will die.”

Genesis 2:21-22

New International Version (NIV)

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[a] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[b] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

5.       Homosexuality-(Same gender sexual sin)-This type of lifestyle is so widespread now that a lot of people really think it’s the norm and it’s not.  There’s nothing normal about a same gender/sex relationship.  God talks about homosexuality in  the bible, one specific scripture is found in Romans 1:27 “  … likewise, the men, leaving the natural use of a woman, burned in their lust for one another, committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. “  This scripture states that sexual relations with two people of the same gender/sex are unnatural and shameful.  Two people of the same gender/sex will never be able to reproduce and bear children.  God has commanded that sexual intercourse be used to increase the population on the earth.  

Genesis 9:7 (NCV)  “As for you, Noah, I want you and your family to have many children, to grow in number on the earth, and to become many.”

 In the natural order of procreation, a woman cannot reproduce unless she receives semen from a man.  There is much strife within our nation today with many organizations that would legalize homosexuality.    God’s purpose for creating man and woman (from the book of Genesis) was for reproduction and populating the earth.     Another example of God’s intention for reproduction is when God cursed the fig tree because it was not operating in its full capacity(producing fruit) and did not create anything for the purpose(producing fruit/food)  it had been created to do. 

Matthew 21: 18 – 19

18 Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. 19 Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.

 God cursed the thing that was created to reproduce after its kind, but did not reproduce.  Homosexuality is an abomination in the eyesight of God.  If anyone believes he/she was born with the spirit of homosexuality, then the love of Christ is there for you.  Christ still has a plan and purpose for your life.  You can be born again. 

 

John 3:3-5

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again. [a]

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.

6.       Adultery (The Bed Defiled) – Adultery happens when the husband or wife goes outside of the sacred bedroom and has sexual relations with someone other than his spouse.  When a person marries, there is one mate.  If the person has sex outside of the marriage bed with someone other than the mate, then the bed is defiled, unclean and dirty. 

Jeremiah 3:9

Because Israel’s immorality mattered so little to her, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stone and wood.

 

We have to keep our marriage sacred and healthy and remain true to our mate. If anyone has problems with being faithful and committed, then marriage is not for you.  If anyone has problems with trust and honesty, then marriage is not for you.  If anyone has problems with responsibility and leadership, then marriage is definitely not for you.   From a woman’s perspective, this is the worst thing a husband can do to her because she was created to be caring, loving, nurturing, protective, faithful human beings.  This is the reason why women bear children and not men.   We have that nurturing instinct inside of us and when that is threatened with adultery; our nest egg that we have nurtured and cared for becomes unstable and damaged.  A husband and a wife should remain true and committed to each other.  The bible talks about the importance of two people being joined together and how God blesses the unity and sanctity of marriage.

 Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 states two are better than one,   because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls
 and has no one to help them up.11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken

The devil is very busy destroying marriages because he knows about the power of two people. Satan knows where the power lies, which is why he is doing everything he can to divide marriages with arsenals of pornography, adultery, homosexuality, and any other distractions he can find.  We need to hold on to the Word of God which is our power and our weapon against the enemy.  I strongly support marriage and God does too, which is why He ordained it and blessed it and He causes our marriages to prosper(within Him).  Marriages will last if we put God first in it and rely on God, not us, as the source of strength.

7.       Sexual  Perversions:  Threesomes, Open Marriages, and Oral Sex (Behavior Problems)- All three  are behavior problems and stem  from the superego — our  doing what we want to do, regardless of who says anything about it or whether it is morally right or wrong.  Threesomes and open marriages are not as commercialized and flaunted within the social mediums.  But these perversions are out there and hundreds of people indulge in the lewdness of swinging and “polygamy” – open marriages.  Oral sex tends to be the “naughty, naughty” secret for many of our adolescents and teens.  Throughout our culture, we have groups of teens engaging in this dangerous form of sex — whether it is at the movies, a school bus or in the backseat of a car.  Again, with the widespread occurrences of herpes, gonorrhea, HIV, and other sexually transmitted diseases, it is a game of Russian roulette to engage in these sexual perversions and not expect to be “hit”.

If you are single and reading this article, whether you are a man or woman, you should not be engaging in any of the seven deadly sexual sins I have mentioned in this article.  I say this especially for those who are Christians and should be living examples of Jesus Christ.  The task of a Christian is to represent Christ in the earth.  If we are not practicing what we “preach”, the bible refers to those people as hypocrites, those who say one thing, but do another.  I hope we can be a living witness of Jesus Christ and actually lead someone to Christ instead of turning them away with our actions and with our words.  If you are not a Christian, then I hope that what I have revealed will be revelation and wisdom for you.  I hope that the facts in this article will lead your heart to repentance and into the arms of a loving, forgiving savior whose hands are forever outstretched towards you.   In his arms you will discover your purpose, the love of the Heavenly Father and true intimacy with Him.   He is the God that is merciful when we fall short.   He gives the grace to start over and to move onward in the path that is narrow and straight.

Again, thanks for the opportunity to share this article with your readers and I pray that they will be blessed with a new attitude.   I encourage all the readers to get a copy of my book to read it in its entirety for a wider perspective on all the topics I’ve discussed.    Thanks again and May God bless you.

 PicQuinieceSheppard

Quiniece Sheppard, AKA Lady Q

Founder/President of I am the Chase Ministries

www.iamthechase.com

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