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A Small Utopia

However you put it, self improvement and self-confidence are different faces of your quest of being a better person. Expect your level of confidence to drop as you are driven to search for improvement. But also expect them to go hand in hand when you have reached your desired growth. Embracing a sound critical thinking towards yourself will probably open your eyes to a real and unpolished image you need to work on.

Don’t dream a fresh start because you are creating for yourself a small utopia to play with. Reality will enjoy crushing it and putting the pieces in your face.

Every human being is bound on carrying everywhere a large and, at a short glance, useless emotional baggage. It’s your inheritance from life. For some of us, this baggage becomes heavy with mistrust, fears, and worries. Therefore, your voyage becomes less enjoyable and you move harder. You will test ways of lightening this burden, but not all of them can produce good results. Day by day, we carry out the task of writing our very own history, in the form of memories. They build-up revealing our true self-image from time to time. But not all of us are good at this game of matching the pieces. Some may get lost in the process. It is ok to seek help. Don’t despair if your own chronicle of the past becomes crowded with unwanted memories. You can’t simply press a delete key and see them all gone. You will have to lay dust on the past by creating new, happier and more enriching experiences.

At a certain point in life you will suspect that you are affected by something I like to call a destiny-disease. A human can remain confined inside the normality of a destiny, conforming to the degree of freedom he was born with or he can rebel against it, using a wrong evaluation of his potential. Beside those that live inside the truth of their destiny (heroes or just humble people) there are those that practice a toxic rhetoric of an enhanced fate. I’m not saying is wrong to want more from yourself, but be prepared to suffer and to struggle with your inner limits before you are able to break free and offset those limits. Prepare yourself also for possible failure and for searching ways of learning from it. Don’t count the times you fall, but keep an exact record for the times you got up from each fall.

Don’t try to find closure only in self-help books. They are just words printed on paper and they can’t help you make the transition towards a real action. Recipes for common problems are not guaranteed to cure a particular form. Reading book after book is like over-planning a trip. The only way to receive full information is to solid plant your feet in that new land that you constantly dream of.

Can you obtain happiness from increasing your spiritual awareness? The answer depends on your ability to segregate thinking from feelings and to proclaim independence for each. Whatever the outcome, you will look at life with wiser eyes. You will understand and accept more and you will use negative thinking in fewer situations. Your emotional baggage will become more compact because you have learned to put things in a certain order and to structure them. Your new level of awareness will be centered on things that really are important and you will become able to look beyond the lines.

 Self-improvement is definitely far from the idea of an overnight change. It resembles more a process in which we slowly build up, not from zero, but from the already existent pieces. You shouldn’t consult individual frames of this movie because you will be disappointed by the slow pace at which change occurs. It is like watching a tree grow and that tree will surely traverse some harsh seasons in his entire life. Embrace patience as your best friend and you will arrive at your desired destination when you least expect. The results of your self-improvement struggle will emerge like a spring sprout searching for the light and evolve in something new.

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