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Abstaining Before Marriage



However you put it, sexuality has been a hot topic of debate, able to generate a high degree of controversy. Although abstinence before marriage is seen as outdated, there are many couples which still practice it. We will try to explore both the advantages and disadvantages of this decision, as well as how it is currently perceived across different ages. There a couple of strong points indicating that abstinence before marriage can lead to better results, both on a physical and on an emotional level.

The first sexual relation is known to make a powerful impact for an individual; therefore it is better to share it with the person you pledge to spend the rest of your life with. Health reasons are also brought in discussion, limiting the possibility for sexual transmitted disease to cross paths with the two members of the couple. From a certain point of view, sexuality without building a family and having children can be seen as a waste of energies.

Many couples stay away from declaring their sexual abstinence because the custom is largely ridiculed in our modern society. Associated with religion, it bares the marks of a highly conservative way of being, which is not exactly in tune with the high degree of freedom our world is continuously conquering. Few couple takes pride from avoiding sexual relationships and you need an important level of self-confidence to take the step. Abstinence is seen through different lenses when it comes to men and women. Abstinence is for a woman a sign of purity, delicacy, while a man which stays away from sexual episodes is usually considered flawed and inexperienced.

From this angle we have to admit that abstinence is a reminiscence of a male-dominated society, in which women were kept away from high profile social occasion. Promiscuity amongst women, although perceived as a sign of decadence, is actually a direct result of their recently conquered position in society. Abstinence derives from an epoch in which women were forced to marry the best suited partner which was chosen by their families. Putting the mirror between “then” and “now” gives a good clue on why today’s society is sex-driven in such a complex way.

The disadvantages of abstinence are quite obvious for a couple which is heading towards marriage. First of all, sexuality is a big component in the life of every couple and any mismatch here can propagate all the way up, leading to a break-up. Having multiple sexual partners before marriage can give you a taste of what is out there and what you need to be happy and satisfied. Yes, it is a race towards the better, and it can lead to many wasted years, but an extended sexual experience can significantly improve the chances for a marriage to survive. If the couple already gets a taste of the chemistry of their sexual potential, marriage becomes only a consolidation and a formalization of the relationship.

Abstinence before marriage has lost its powerful impact mostly because marriage itself has lost its privileged position. Although weddings are still spectacular celebrations, it’s the institution itself which lost a considerable amount of credibility. It is easier now to end a marriage than to start a business. As the percent of couples which face divorce is increasing year after year, it is obvious that the solemn oath has no longer lasting effects. Many lovers prefer to keep their relationship outside marriage for as long as possible and this is a trend our modern world has learnt to understand and accept.

Although lacking the popularity it once had, abstinence before marriage is a decision which should respect and not ridiculed. Whether it derives from religious traditions or from other concerns, its direct effects can bring a unique flavor to a marriage, making it more special, and possibly more successful. Saving sex for later can let you focus on other aspects which are equally important in a couple’s life. Seeing your partner like a friend and having more time to talk and get to know each other is a direct result of keeping sex away in the period prior to the wedding.


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