Being single is not a sad story

I was sitting on the front row of a church I was visiting for a conference when the doors of the church swung open and in walked Mr. Carter.  I’ll never forget it and often giggle about the feeling I had when I looked back during offering to see him walking through the doors.

I was spinning around to the music that was playing but each time I would dance, I looked back to see if this young man was still in the building.  After church I asked a mutual friend who this guy was not thinking three years later he would be my husband.

We were introduced and me being me, I shook his hand, told him it was nice to meet him, and that he could call me sometime if he was interested. I know, this doesn’t sound like “he who finds a wife…”  but I did make my request known to God. Sure enough he called me that night.

Now ladies, it had been 3 years since I had dated anyone but I did have some standards.  I told him thanks for calling but I don’t talk to men past 10 o’clock pm and you will have to call me tomorrow.  Well three days passed and then a text came in at 9 o’clock am.  Ever since that day, we’ve never skipped a beat.  We’d dated, gotten to know each other,  we’ve had some very hard times and together we’ve overcame them.

On September 1, 2012 we became more than friends; we were finally soul mates joined by God in marriage.   See, my story of being single is not a sad one. I would show up at events and look around and most of the time I was the only one who was single.  Then whenever I would attend single events the atmosphere was uncomfortable because everyone is single and looking for someone.

Most people see being single as being alone but my thoughts were you can only be alone if you don’t know your purpose or the promises of God.  When I decided to live for God, I knew there were a lot of personal issues that I would need God to deliver me from and wounds that needed to be healed from other relationships.  My idea of being single was to “care for the things of God.”  I didn’t have any children or major responsibilities, so I was going to make the most out of life.

I’m sure you are asking, “didn’t you want to be in a relationship?”  The answer is simply this: I wanted a relationship when I was ready to be married.  By the time I met my husband, I was working as an associate pastor full time for one of the fastest growing churches in America, traveling on mission’s trips, doing praise and worship workshop, preaching and teaching.  Dating would require time and me being a single female, I understood that I would have to be able to sacrifice some of the things, I wanted for him (my husband) when he comes.

My process of going from single to being married, really was going from being saved to sanctified, — then to being satisfied.  As a born again believer, you must realize that you are a new creation in Christ.  As you spend time finding out who you are, how to live, what you like, what God requires-which are all questions you should meditate upon. This will often lead you into a time of sanctification.  You are being pulled away from the world and pulled into the Kingdom of God.  What use to attract you may have changed now that you are no longer conformed to this world and your mind is transformed.  You as a single Christian must become complete and whole before you decide to jump into a relationship.  Finding time in the secret place will make you content.  You will be satisfied with the season you are in until you are found or until you find her.

Pastor Ashley Carter is an evangelist, teacher, counselor and woman of integrity. She is an ordained pastor, provides counsel, and is responsible for the community outreach efforts, overseeing the inner city and missions ministry at World Overcomers Christian Church.

Before joining World Overcomers Christian Church-under the leadership of Sr. Pastor Andy Thompson. Pastor Ashley traveled the globe ministering to young adults from inner cities to jails. Experiencing it firsthand, Pastor Ashley believes that God can change anybody and that heaven is yours if you live Holy and give your life to Jesus Christ. Pastor Ashley earned a bachelor’s degree in social work from North Carolina Central University as well as a diploma from World Harvest Bible College in Arts and Religion in pastoral and church leadership under the tutelage of Pastor Rod Parsley.

Serving as a worship leader and choir member of a local church at Bible College, she volunteered her time at Harvest Youth Ministry and Facilities and worked for Breakthrough Ministries as a prayer partner and customer service representative.

Ashley loves to travel and try new things. She enjoys spending time with her husband, Mr. Capp Carter and relaxing while trying to figure out sports and watching her favorite television shows. When not at work, you can find her sipping hot tea and listening to new music.