His Time, Her Time

Every marriage reaches the point when things are stuck because they are going too well. Doing everything together and spending most of the time without the slightest form of separation adds an additional stress and fatigue to the relationship. The routine of each day is able to segregate surprise, passion and attraction outside the

marriage cocktail. And when this happens, the marriage becomes a burden, a full time job you do without thinking twice.

Time is a crucial resource we often neglect. We trade our time for money and experiences, but there are moments when we just sit down and crave for the lost time. Betw

een work and family and all the other daily activities, we wish we had more time to do something only for our own person. Spending more time alone, with friends or other family members is perfectly natural and should be accepted as a way of rebuilding trust and desire. Such time spent apart should not be considered as the first sign of an imminent breakup.

Allowing your spouse to take his/her time and do whatever he/she wants is a way to prove that mutual trust exists and can be put in practice. The way free time is used depends on the type of person you are. Some spend this time trying to improve themselves and bring back value in the marriage, while other may pursuit cheap distractions and ways to forget about their commitment. The first choice is indeed the better one, but not all of us are able to travel so far and admit character flaws that need to be corrected. We usually portray our person as the reference system and send in exile towards the outside world everything that we don’t like about the life we live.

Free time outside the marriage will definitely be spent in different ways. If we are talking about a woman, we will probably see that she wants to get in touch with old friends and somehow show that her marriage hasn’t changed her in a negative way. She wants to look the same as before in order to trick the eye and be considered again young and attractive. Besides that, she needs to show that she is a loyal wife and brush aside with diplomacy any courting attempts. On another approach, a woman could seek the company of other married women, in order to compare and learn new thing. With this occasion, she could develop the idea of having babies. Taking care of her body could become a major focus point for a woman during hours spent away from her family. There is nothing more flattering for a woman’s ego than to know she is still able to turn heads even a later age. Regular visits to the gym, or extended sessions of running in the park can become close to religious rituals for her. The idea that a woman’s place is around the house all day long and each consecutive day is far from real needs of today’s society.

Every husband shares the same urge to “escape” for a limited amount of time from the restrictions imposed by a marriage. The first thing that could cross a man’s mind is to embrace the open road and pack for a small road trip. Nothing comes near to the feeling of freedom offered by aimless wandering. Either we are talking about driving a car for thousands of miles, or simply hiking on a trail with a backpack, the same search for new experiences and adventure determines a man to leave behind for a little while the comfort and routine of his home. In addition, his escape can be even enjoyable if he is joined by some of his closest friends. Men are able to bond more easily and also have similar needs. A few extra drinks, a scenario usually incriminated back at home, becomes the supreme kind of freedom.

Of course, there are some limits that should not be crossed. If too much emphasis is put on the whole idea of spending time apart, maybe the feelings that support the marriage are not so strong after all. Going on different ways for a little while should not go beyond what is a holyday for full time job – an opportunity to recharge depleted batteries and go on.