How to Handle Criticism?

As we carry on with our daily lives it is impossible for us to completely avoid making mistakes along the way. Some mistakes are bigger and some have a smaller impact. The others will always look back at your performance on the stage. Some will remain silent, some will applaud and some will leave. Some will decide to let you know how they feel about your act.

Receiving criticism from others is not always bad. In fact, in most of the cases is the best thing that can happen. First of all, if someone complains about something related to your activity or the way you behave it means that a bridge of sincerity exists between you two. That person isn’t afraid to speak out and to let you know what is on her mind. Every great human relationship can refer to that ingredient as essential.

You will have to learn to distinguish between positive and negative criticism. Don’t expect to see what is good dressed in white and what is bad dressed in black. People are more complex than that. On the other hand, don’t despair thinking that you will have to deeply emerge yourself in human psychology. You need little information buy you need the proper tools to use it wisely. The funny fact is that positive or constructive criticism can be harder to handle because it will try to change you. Every person I know has a self-defense mechanism against change that comes from the outside. You are the only one that can impose change on yourself. But don’t imagine that will come easy. As you become older and older, real change will become as allusive as water in the desert. Be sure to shape yourself to the desire form before the stuff you are made from becomes rigid and before you make camp inside your comfort zone.

The best way to receive criticism is with an open heart and with an open notebook. Write down everything that makes others unhappy and start constructing on that. It can be either a strategy to avoid repeating the same errors and shape yourself according to that, or a strategy to leave without looking back. Constant criticism and your inability to change means you are stuck in a rut that will consume you while making others unhappy.

Accept that there are out there fellow humans for whom criticism is a way of life and second nature. They always look for the detail that didn’t emerge perfect or blame the weather. Train your eye and learn to recognize them. Further enhance your insight and learn that there are different forms and magnitudes of criticism. Some see as a sport and for some is the only way to assert power and enforce hierarchy. Learn to read between the lines and distil only the truth.

Criticism can come hand in hand with his close friend – stress. You will feel stressed both before and after receiving criticism. Always remember that words can’t hurt you unless you let them. Train your mind to become strong against verbal aggression and you will be fine.

 From fare the worst type of criticism is self-criticism. In small doses it is natural to look back at yourself and see flaws, but if you become obsessed looking in the mirror you can face a serious problem. Remember to always put in balance your qualities, achievements even if you have to dig in the past to find them. Everyone has his small trophy room. Make sure to visit it from time to time and blow the dust.

However you put it, constant criticism from another person leaves few doors open for action. You can decide to change, you can decide to leave or you can play perpetual-chess. I don’t encourage the last of the three, although I admit it is the less radical approach and the one we use most often in our daily lives.

I want this article to end in an optimist way. The next time you will find yourself put against harsh words remember that criticism was, along the ages, the main engine for progress and discovery. Those that looked beyond humiliation and anger found strength and ambition not to change themselves but to change the world.