How to Heal After a Breakup

It is hard to accept, but every door that closes in your life, every breakup from a person you once loved, can be a very hard to digest event, capable of leaving wounds that hurt many years after.

The number one thing you need to do after breaking up with someone is to avoid looking back. This can make the transition to a new era in your life easier. Knowing and accepting that things are over can in fact help you make those needed steps in a new direction. Of course, after a while, the temptation to call back and initiate reconciliation will be strong, but you need to resist it. A relationship that reaches the extremes way to often can be considered toxic and should be left behind immediately. Long term relations are built on constancy rather than cycles reaching for low and high points.

Every end marks a new chapter in the book of your life. But you will revisit those pages countless times, trying to extract a new meaning from them, so you’ll need to write them down properly. The past becomes diluted as you travel further in time and the way you sort and keep feelings will eventually influence your memories. When memories fade out, you’ll be left only with a vague idea of what really happen back then. If that idea is distorted by fear and regrets, it will be harder for you to open for future experiences. Clinging to much on the past can prevent you from leaving 100% in the present. A head turned to see what was left back will never focus enough on what is ahead. Knowing yourself well-enough can help you put past events in order, like files in a folder. Not knowing yourself well-enough can prevent you from seeing the full picture and help from someone else is required.

A breakup is usually joined by the need to be alone, to cut your connections with the world. You see others like judges of your failure and your confidence level is subject to erosion. Opening up again can be a very hard to initiate process. The fear of making the same mistakes and the imaginary stigma you are wearing can block all the new opportunities that are waiting for you. Accept the winter of the heart, but don’t wait too long before allowing spring to come again. One failure, one step that goes wrong, does not mean that your whole life is pointless and you should quit hoping for the best.

Believe that you deserve something better. This is the best thing to do after leaving someone or being left. Transform your loss in a chance to receive more. The best way to forget a bad day is to live another one and to try to embrace a different understanding of the world. Try looking at things in a different light and you can discover, among others, where the truth that you need lies.

Being in a relationship means that you’ve expanded your horizon far enough in order to make room for the two of you. Leaving a relationship means you have to contract, to decay to your former self. This could be a great opportunity to reassess the boundaries of your true self and to identify your core of beliefs and values. Extended periods of introspection are recommended and can lead you to become a better person. Cutting off the unnecessary luggage that you are caring around can give you a unique feeling of freedom, the one you are not able to experience inside a relationship.

Traveling, the supreme symbol of openness towards the unknown can heal a broken heart faster than anything else. A new land and new faces can enforce the idea that you are starting a new chapter in life. The changing landscape will teach you one of the biggest lessons. Life is a process that goes on with or without your consent. Change is inherent and you can’t hold time in place. As old thing are left back, new ones appear at the horizon, becoming bigger and closer. You can never know for sure if they are better, but at least you can try. Life is not a place to hide.