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Identifying Trouble Makers In Your Marriage


Every marriage is far from being that perfect edifice others look at with envy. Many small or big problems emerge, creating smaller or bigger cracks that need constant mending. If a marriage targets to work more than a couple of years, constant repair and maintenance is needed, with the involvement of both partners being mandatory. Identifying trouble makers in your marriage is the first step towards keeping that marriage alive and going, and this article will introduce a list of the most likely suspects.

Routine can affect the marriage in both a positive and a negative manner. Positive routine can vary inside a very wide range, and can go from eating to a restaurant each Friday night, to just eating breakfast together each day. Routine acts like a confirmation that although you have a busy life to navigate in, some coordinates are well written at certain intervals of time.

Positive routine helps you feel safe from getting lost in time, without proper landmarks to clinch to. On the other hand, constant fights, or constant financial problems, can act like a negative routine. As you prepare for the next cycle of bad things to happen, the marriage is no longer a safe heaven, but a fight to get by each day, with no hopes for something better. Building routine and focusing on positive actions takes time and 100% involvement from both partners.

The balance between hours spent at the workplace and the hours spent together as a couple is often neglected as time separates the present from the moment of the wedding. As kids appear, even less time is dedicated for the two to really connect, without any disturbance present. Creating a tight schedule and adhering to the newly established rules is the only option for the marriage to survive in optimal conditions. A marriage is like any activity you want to get better or avoid forgetting it: you need to practice often and invest a lot of time.

Although some are reluctant to admit it, money is often a hot topic for disputes and fights inside a marriage. As big decisions like changing jobs, buying a new house, or investing savings arise at the horizon, each marriage faces the duality of its structure. One “No” and one “Yes” are enough for a tie to block any future plan relating to financial stability, generating a dispute that can get multi-layered. The partner who brings more value to the marriage (in financial terms) will always claim the superiority of his/her vote, as compromise is usually far from being reached easily.

Sexual satisfaction is often one of the core mutual benefits that is able to unite people in marriage. If that ingredient is stripped away, or if one of the two partners feel increasing dissatisfaction, thing can only evolve in the wrong direction. Sex is usually a taboo topic, and problems of communication can occur even inside a couple sharing a long history together. Breaking the routine with new ingredients, or creating a new, better routine, are effective ways of dealing with this aspect of being married, nevertheless sincerity and genuine communication are the main triggers for change.

If partners getting married experienced powerful past relationships, it’s quite common for them to hear a call echoing from the past. Difficult moments traveled by a marriage can expel one partner in the arms of its past lover quite quickly. Unresolved emotions, although buried under the dust of past years, and sealed by the act of marriage, can easily resurface and create unexpected complications to a marriage jut holding its breath against the deluge of problems.

Skipping your marriage is sometimes the biggest source of upset. It is quite a common fault for one of the partners to decide he/she has nothing to gain from investing a lot of emotional resources in the marriage. Staying on the side line, and watching the other struggle to understand your real reasons is a sign of selfishness which gives you no excuse. Being married means you have to play the game, although you no longer feel like you should do that.

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