Mary (Mary) Don’t You Weep: Four Reasons That Drive Men to Cheat

Article by Shon Hyneman

It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home -Prov. 25:24 NLT

The definition of Quarrelsome is: ready or likely to argue or disagree

As I read this scripture all I could think to myself is “I feel sorry for the man who marries a woman who is ready or likely to argue or disagree.” In no way is this blog to belittle women or think less of my sisters. (My readers should know me better than that) It’s simply something that must be addressed if you want to decrease the chances of your husband or significant other not to step outside the relationship. Many women are stomped when they find out he cheated, let me help you understand (from a man’s perspective) why he did

I’ll say this: A man should remain faithful (especially in marriage) no matter the circumstances. He made a covenant with his wife and before God. I tell men regardless of the situation (if she’s not meeting your needs) you play your part and remain committed. If she cheated on you that doesn’t give you a “I can get me some for free” pass. Will some men cheat? Yes. Some just can’t control the lust of the flesh or they only think about themselves and immediate gratification. BUT there are men who are committed and remain faithful as well. In my opinion the main ingredient to staying faithful is a healthy fear of God. It worked for me over twelve years and counting. I’m accountable to God first then my wife.

Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil -Prov. 3:7

Are you watching Mary Mary season three? The biggest surprise of season three is the infidelity of Tina’s husband Teddy. While watching the show they never went into detail as to why Teddy cheated. As my wife and I watched, my wife said “he cheated because she don’t respect him and she’s too loud and domineering. (In no way we are talking bad about the sisters, we watch the show every week and have all their CD’s) Notice my wife said this before we seen an in-depth interview with the two sisters and Tina said this:

“I was controlling, talked too much and you could never be heard over me and I was selfish.” She also said “I was stepping over my man and making him feel small. We need to stop with all this I’m a strong woman stuff.”

Teddy was the one who stepped out the marriage and I’m sure he was remorseful for his actions. (Since the affair lasted over a year, I wonder if Teddy was remorseful because he got caught, or would he confess?) Both parties were in the wrong, but what I love about this whole situation is the fact that Tina forgave her husband. That alone should send a powerful message to those who are going through a similar situation. What Tina stated above was very powerful and the majority of women miss it…until it’s too late.

To my ladies who is reading this, here are four things you can do to prevent your husband or significant other from cheating on you:

-Stop trying to control him: Why marry someone and then try to control them? That’s not a relationship, that’s slavery. Just because he does things different from you doesn’t mean he’s wrong. He married you, not his mother.

-You talk too much and dominate the conversation: When there’s a disagreement between the two of you, you don’t give him time to explain himself. That turns into frustration for him so the conversation goes from arguing and in some cases, domestic violence

-You belittle him: Have you used phrases like: “I hate you” “Wish I never married you” “The sex isn’t that good anyway” “I wish you was more like_____”

These phrases damage his ego, and if damaged enough you might lose him for good.

-Lack of respect: He always have to compete with you because you want to be the leader of the home. Step back and let him lead. If this continue to happen over time, he will give up. Ever wonder why he got a man cave?

 Truth be told every man wants to be needed. He wants to be your Superman! But if every time he tries to save you and you hand him Kryptonite eventually he will give up. The problem sisters is when you come at him with the attitude of “I’m a strong woman” and “I don’t need your help” so what is he left with? The option of another woman who makes him feel needed and appreciated.

Connect with Shon Hyneman at www.NeverAgainMinistries.com