Posted by in Inspiration, Share Your Story | 24 Comments

My testimony is why I write

 

Testimony by Tremayne Moore

My uncle came to live with us in 1982. I was 8 years old. He was 10 years old and my mom’s half-brother. He made my life a living hell. Because he often made me do things forbidden by my parents, I’d have to submit to whatever he wanted so that he would not tell on me. He asked for much more than an 8-year-old should ever have to do. Most of the time, if I complied he would not tell. But, sometimes he’d tell on me either way. In August of 1984, my uncle took his hellish behavior a step farther by initiating sex with me. I didn’t think anything of it and submitted to his request. He used the sexual abuse to control and manipulate me.

I was vastly relieved when my uncle stated that he wanted to go back home to his mom the following year. Not long afterwards, I told a classmate in confidence what my uncle did to me. In my youthful innocence I thought it was done in fun and games. It wasn’t. To my utter shock and disbelief, everything I told my classmate had spread throughout the school! The next thing I knew; I was sitting in the principal’s office telling the school administrator and my parents what my uncle did to me. I didn’t tell them everything. I lied saying that it only happened once. I was afraid that I’d get in trouble.

My uncle had manipulated everyone to the point that even my own parents assumed me to be a natural-born liar. Unfortunately, the abuse didn’t stop, as sadly my abuser had changed. During the summer of 1985, a female relative took me into the kitchen and began oral sex. I was still scarred and frightened; because of what my uncle had done to me. She then led me down to the basement stating that she was going to teach me how to have sexual relations; her words and deeds were vile and repulsive to me. I was still very afraid but after about 5 minutes, I loosened up and surrendered to her. My 11-year-old body was being abused during my two weeks visit with them.

The next year, my uncle was failing in school again and my mother wanted to bring him back into the house. My sister and I protested vehemently but we lost. My mother told me that what my uncle did wouldn’t happen again and I still had to love him. Her reasoning made me angry. Eventually the sexual abuse by my uncle did stop, unfortunately the physical and verbal abuse didn’t. I did tell my parents about the abuse, but he would say something else and I’d get in trouble for lying. Two years after graduating from high school, I enlisted in the military. During my time in the military, I told my parents the truth about my uncle abusing me and then I gave my life to the Lord. I was 22 years old.

Since November of 1986 until now, I have remained celibate and am very determined to stay that way until I’m married. Throughout everything, I can say that I can count my life experiences—the good and the bad—all joy. My uncle’s violation of me was detestable as was that of my female relative. I’ve often wonder had she not taken advantage of me; would I think what my uncle did to me was normal. I also know that the inspiration for my novel “Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid” is based on the pain of my childhood abuse as it is a fictionalized version of my childhood. I know my story and that of my main character shall help others heal. My testimony is why I write.

 

 

Contact Tremayne Moore at:

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  1. Amen for your testimony; sometimes the church wants to deny and say you only lie, but God knows the truth and so do you. Thank you for bringing this to our recognition, and cannot deny your testimony! How it will bless others.

  2. God bless you, Tremayne, and thank you for sharing your story with the world.

  3. Many will be delivered and opened in sharing even their testimony. But most of all the biggest thing that showed your deliverance is your testimony. Many are to afraid to share the abuse they’ve encountered. May GOD continue bless you mightily for sharing your heart and testimony. Blessings

  4. Tralice Ware says:

    I am truly and deeply sorry for what you had to endure during your childhood. I would like to commend you for telling your story and giving sexual abuse a voice.

  5. This should have never happened to you. It’s bad enough you had one abuser, to have two, I don’t know how you managed to pull through. I praise you for the strength and courage you had going through what you went through and how you still managed to come out on top. You are a true survivor.

    • Thank you Courtney. It’s all by His grace that I’m still alive. This is only a partial story of my life, trust me when I say there’s more to this story (and I try not to tear up when I think about what was unsaid). All I can say is that angels were watching over my life.

  6. Lori Crowe says:

    You are a man of great courage and conviction. I pray that the pain you suffered will be healed and that many abuse victims will find hope in the God Who brings glory to your story. God bless and protect you as you step out in faith with the truth!

  7. Wow Tremayne,
    I commend you for sharing your story, most men never tell especially if the abuse was the same sex. They live with the shame and abuse that either lead them to molest or abuse women. You chose the high road and didn’t let it define you. SO PROUD OF YOU!

    • Thank you Phillis (truthfully, all glory to God). Most men don’t share for the risk of being bullied. Granted, I was bullied. It’s not about me, it’s about saving lives for His glory.

  8. Deanna O says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can relate! I was sexually abused from age 2-16 by a total of 17 perpetrators starting with my own father, to step-dad, brother, neighbors, babysitter, etc. I am 41 and am just now starting to really dig deep in therapy. I am so scared and my anxiety and depression are at an all time high. With that being said I just want you to know how much it helps to read others stories and to know “I’m not alone” God Bless you in your quest!
    D

    • Deanna: Thank you for sharing a little bit. I’m 2 years younger than you. I understand you being scared and the anxiety, depression, etc. This is just a condensed version of my story. There’s a little bit more to this story.

      I don’t want to close this response without saying I’m sorry to hear of what you went through. My heart cries for you. Just know that you’re not alone and I stand with you as we walk together to healing and wholeness. God bless.
      E-mail me if you want: tremayne_moore@yahoo.com.

  9. I am glad you wrote this! I am glad I read it! Each time a survivor speaks they help another survivor heal.

  10. Theresa Williams says:

    I am relieved that you were able to stay positive, I will always pray for you.

    • Thanks Theresa. It would be too easy to let the flesh win and stay negative and bitter, eventually it would eat away at my heart. Thanks for your prayers. Blessings.

  11. Tremaine, you are such an awesome man of God. Your story will bring deliverance to so many who have been in bondage to this. To break the silence in to seek deliverance. So many resort to silence in order to save others or keep from experiencing further negativity. I pray that one day you find a beautiful God fearing wife to experience True Love with and have a wonderful family as well. I know you will protect your children and instill great values in them.

  12. I just read this again! It is so bold and so true! It is powerful how your testimony shines out in all that you write!

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