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Snooping In Your Marriage: Is it right or wrong?



There is no short answer to the question whether it is right or wrong to snoop on your spouse. Although many blame curiosity, it is often the lack of trust in each other that leads to all that detective work being carried out. And when trust is no longer present, the marriage is already facing problems at one of its deepest levels. The question is longer centered on whether is right to mistrust, but rather on what causes the halt in communication.

Extended periods of time spent separated, often required by some types of jobs, and are often the main reasons for fractures to occur in the bridge of trust that links two individuals. It’s very easy to fill up empty space with products of your imagination and, going even further, to believe them. However good communication is inside a couple, if they are exposed to repeated periods of staying separated, trust will gently fade away.

There are many ways and levels for snooping on your husband/wife. It all starts with addressing direct questions. But when answers are no longer considered to be true, some further investigation takes place. Checking the internet browsing history usually reveals very many things about what is bothering someone. We all find solace in the arms of good old Google and the online environment offers everything, without imposing limits.


The most common culprits are dating websites or websites with pornographic content. Although few and few people are left unaware of the traces they leave while browsing on a computer, there are some methods to bypass anyone’s measures of hiding things beneath the rug. Key logging programs and even information from Internet Service Providers (although not a legal procedure) can reveal what information your partner is accessing online.

Next on the list, finding the password and checking your partner’s Facebook profile from inside can also reveal his/her history with other people. Although Facebook has never been the playground of major infidelities, due to its public exposure under real names, having all those friends around makes it a big temptation to get in touch with past lovers which are still on the Friends list. We will no longer debate e-mail and phone history, as they are they are part the ABC in terms of snooping in your marriage.


Hiring a private detective can present itself as a more elegant and productive measure of eliminating any doubts. The things you need to get straight before using this method is what you will do if it turns out you were right. Are you able to forgive? Will your husband/wife be able to accept your forgiveness?

On the other hand, will he/she accept the fact that you hired a private eye? Like you see, there are many “if” and questions mark tied to the whole process of snooping. In order to resume, do you know if it’s better to live in doubt or are you ready to accept the truth and take action according to it. Few marriages survive an exposed infidelity and if they do, trust is almost never regained.

Drawing a line, it is acceptable to snoop on your partner if you have serious trust issues and consider them important threats for your well-being and for the quality of life spent in two. Of course, it is advisable to confront the problems face to face before using any spy techniques. Be prepared to act according to the uncovered truth and make a plan for any possible scenario. Be also prepared to have a certain tolerance for mistakes which are being confessed. Not everyone has the decency and inner strength to put the head down and confess.

The decision what to do whit the results of your snooping is often an emotional one and after all you should stick to your inner conscious. Marriages with children or partners who share common belongings are situations which add some complications to the final verdict. Whatever the case might be, if you plan to snoop and use the gained information in your benefit, make sure that the activity is considered legal in your state/country.




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