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Tips For A Solid Foundation In Your Marriage

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Photo Courtesy of urbanfaith.com

                Preparing to get married is never easy, especially in a climate in which marriage undergoes continuous change and it is being put on secondary positions by other aspects of one’s life, like career for example. Laying the perfect foundation for a lasting and happy marriage should start even from the dating period, especially if it spans way back in time. Many young people do not understand the fact that the actual marriage starts before the symbolic ritual takes place.

                1. Time and patience as breakfast

                All good things in life need time in order to expand roots in the given conditions. Rushing things and losing patience are definitely not part of the winning recipe when it comes to laying the stones for a future union trough marriage. Time never respected and favored those unaware of its properties. Human relationships in particular are very time consuming and investing not enough time or not having patience with your investment of time is a clear sign you are not heading for a win in this game.

                2. Focus on the average

Life is like a carnival ride, full of ups and downs. Falling from the heights you hardly tried to access is never easy and facing yet another climb can be quite exhausting not only for your body, but also for your soul. But focusing too much on the curves outputted by your relationship over time distracts attention from the real important parameter of your evolution – the average. Despite your falls, if you are able to identify a growing trend, you should rest happy that you are riding the good horse. But how exactly do you measure your average. In a mathematical graph, your average is a straight line, bisecting your sinuous evolution, and trying to fill the empty of your lows with the extra of your highs. What better metaphor you could find for a marriage than this one?

3. Reconnect with reality

Deny the instinct to follow today’s norm of chasing the extraordinary and settle for the fact that you and your partner are not a couple chased by paparazzi. Trying to look perfect all the time is quite exhausting because it involves muting all you small dramas and covering all the small cracks. Wearing masks for the others leaves your private life as a couple with the less pleasant task of confronting the reality you try so hard to put a make-up on. The act of marriage itself falls in the same trap of asking for everything to come out perfect, straight out from the TV screen. Accept the fact that reality is made beautiful by its small imperfections and also small imperfections will make your marriage beautiful and rewarding.

                4. Test your partner

Many couples failed as married couples because they kept their entire relationship in protective cocoon. Avoiding difficult situations, and having eyes only for the fun parts, partners surround themselves by utopia. Marriage usually enforces that idea at the beginning, but it’s no surprise for the vantage point to change after just a couple of years spent together. In order to see if something is strong enough, it is not uncommon to test it to its breaking point. I do not argue you should bring about everything menacing a relationship, but getting out of your bubble and trying new things should reveal if you are really ready to take the big step.

                5. What about honesty?

Honesty has become the ugly duck of our present society. Everyone prefers a more cosmetic truth, one easier to digest, accept and understand. We should not forget the fact that honesty lies at the foundation of every successful relationship and it is a needed ingredient for the success of a marriage. Honesty starts with the smallest things and end’s up with expressing your feelings without any imposed restrictions. Honesty need to be reinstalled in its original position, high on a pedestal, overviewing all that is happening between the two partners. It’s wrong to consider honesty as vestige of a romanticist period and every marriage should claim by swearing allegiance to it.

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