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Wooing vs Dating


We live in a world in which everybody praises the idea of getting fast results, without investing too many resources, and most importantly, without wasting our precious and careful dosed time. The same principle applies when it comes to finding a romantic partner and establishing a relationship.

The ideal scenario would be love at first sight and mutual acceptance from the start. But the reality is far from being so and each couple usually undergoes a trial period during which they try to better know and understand each other.

At this point differences can occur. When we discuss dating, the transition from strangers to lovers is made over a longer period, during which the small ties that compose the macroscopic relationship are carefully tested and improved. The process is natural goes on almost seamless.

On the other hand, wooing involves a far shorter reach trough time, after which we can call two people hanging together lovers. Based more on psychical contact and attraction, wooing burns all the intermediate stages of dating and pushes everything much faster.

Not all people are the same, and to generalize which of the two types of building a relationship is better is like trying to put all fruits in one basket. The rules of how people get along and end up tangled in social relationships is far from being an exact science and is definitely no room for best practices or common sense. The unpredictability of human character can put at rest all statistics and previously written rules.

But when it comes to choosing the best approach, having also in mind the long term, dating comes as the obvious winner. In order to win someone’s heart for good and ultimately convince him/her to marry you, a steady investment over the time is always proffered to risking everything on a few bold moves.

Having in mind that the main duty of being married with someone is to share the rest of your life with that person, can make dating the perfect rehearsal. As dating goes on, more and more of your true self is emerging from beneath the surfaces and all your efforts to hide something will be in vain. Character make-up doesn’t work when you undergo long-term dating, neither marriage.

All changes when we are analyzing wooing, as you can target to impress from the start, extract the maximum from many and short-lived relationship and carry on like social butterfly, without caring or thinking of the time when the youthful summer will end. People switching relationship like pairs of socks, without investing true feelings, have good chances of ending up lonely.

A certain charm of life lies in the process of courtship. The dance between acceptance and rejection, the uncertainty of the other’s words, thoughts and gestures, is all part of what we call love. While in wooing the partners rush to consume their love over a shorter span of time, dating allows for ups and downs. The biggest component of dating is hope and knowing how to produce, store and then use this magic ingredient makes the difference between enjoying the dating process or suffering.

The social background is always imposing trends and wooing is certainly a product of our latest decades, in which all seems to go a bit faster. The question is how much we can rush love without making it look cheap and without striping all the excitement. The gradual build of momentum seen over each stage of dating is definitely something we do not want to lose for the future.

A big shaping factor in the whole debate regarding wooing and dating lies in the models which media tends to promote. We should be aware that content delivered to us as advertising, entertainment and even the reality of the news, is a product of our changing times. Could we allow for trends to settle what is hidden deep down in our hearts and could we make compromises just to satisfy the big eye of society watching and judging. These are answers we are all destined to respond one way or the other throughout our lives.

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